5 Amazing Things That Took Less Time Than The New Tool Album

When Tool released ‘10,000 Days’ on May 2, 2006, it unofficially kicked off a 13-plus year wait for their fifth studio album. Within that same length of time or less (much, much less in some cases), so many incredible things in human history were achieved.

The construction of the Hoover Dam took less than half the amount of time, and that involved diverting a river and tunneling through rock canyons back in the 1930s. Alexander the Great took less time to build one of the world’s most impressive empires.

There aren’t enough tinfoil hats in the world to reasonably justify the torturous wait for a band to write, record and release their fifth album in more than a quarter century. Just because you should suffer for your art, doesn’t mean your fans should suffer too. Sorry Tool — people tend to take their frustrations out on the ones they love the most. We know it’s not fair, but we’re only human.

Now let’s embark on a journey through 5 Amazing Things That Took Less Time Than Tool’s 13-Year New Album in the gallery below.

5- Buckethead Releases 229 Studio Albums: 13 Years

Somewhere there’s an algorithm that can process all of Buckethead’s music and probably spit out the new Tool album — like an updated version of the infinite monkey theorem (that’s the one that theorizes that with an infinite amount of time, a monkey hitting a keyboard at random will inevitably type out the works of Shakespeare).

4- Walt Disney World Conceived + Opened: 6 Years

The most magical place on Earth, Disney World, was created in response to the success of the west coast Disneyland. It has since become the feature attraction among worldwide Walt Disney theme parks, originally opening its doors to wholesome thrillseekers on Oct. 1, 1971, six years after the “Florida Project” was conceived. At its opening, Walt Disney World consisted of Magic Kingdom, three resorts and two golf courses.

3- Michaelangelo Paints the Sistine Chapel Ceiling: 4 Years

No guitar, no bass, no microphone, no drums… the brush was Italian Renaissance painter Michaelangelo’s instrument. Before he was a painter though, he gained notoriety as a sculptor (the statue of ‘David,’ anyone? By the way, that only took three years and it’s 17 feet tall). Commissioned in 1508 by Pope Julius II, the artist completed work on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel by late 1512. In 1535, he returned, painting ‘The Last Judgement’ behind the altar. That took another seven years.

2- Everything The Beatles Ever Wrote: 8 Years

Regarded as the greatest and most successful musical artist the world has ever seen, all of The Beatles’ greatness is attributed to less than a decade’s worth of work. Formed in 1962, the four-piece went on to release 13 studio albums by early 1970. Their catalog totals over 200 original recordings with an additional 75-plus cover selections. Just imagine what else they could’ve have done with the other five years Tool have used up....

1- Baby Girls Reach Reproductive Maturity: Generally Less Than 13 Years

Newborn girls who were welcomed into this world at the time ‘10,000 Days’ was released have mostly all had their first period. Biologically, they’ve reached reproductive maturity and are capable of bearing children. Meanwhile, Tool have been pregnant with a new album for 13 years.